I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
