I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
