he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just forgot I was standing up.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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