I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Randomize
