question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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