and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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