if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
