It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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