I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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