"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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