I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
