her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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