You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
