She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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