she looked like the before picture.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
