Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We don't watch enough power rangers
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
