the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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