hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
