Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
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