Whod you bang
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize