Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
