:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
