i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
