so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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