Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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