I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
