She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
