I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
