We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
