fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
