He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I need to align my fucking chakras
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