I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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