May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
