I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
