you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
