so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She even gives head with a lisp.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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