You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
