You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
