i don't plan on having that self control this summer
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
