Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
