Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
