Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
