In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
