butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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