What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
