i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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