she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
