Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
