one might say we're banned from that church
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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