Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Plan B is the new Plan A
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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