So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Randomize
