And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
