We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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