I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I am one with the molecules
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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