someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
