Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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