This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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