i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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