I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
