Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
