Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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