please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
