This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
